All information I am about to present herewith, I draw from a note I made while procrastinating in a coffee shop two years ago, a note whose contents are based solely on my experience and leaky observation, rather than a subjective study conducted by arduous individuals in alabaster coats.
I figured that, since my protagonist’s story starts in a common high school, these may also be helpful for my project, if not yours too, so peruse this at the whims of your pleasure. As well as your discretion, for I must warn you, that my tone will verge judgemental, cynical, nihilistic, and that sort of badness that’s going to offend you. Consider yourself warned.
1. The Pious and the Industrious
We’ve all once hated that kid who took classroom debates more seriously than your overly political uncle who often got into bar-fights with socialists; that kid who, in said debates, because you misread a line they wrote, nearly shoved a sharpened pencil up your rump.
These students value good grades above all else, but who, because they’re better than you, occasionally mingle in the way of ‘recreation’ too. Their hobbies can be classified into productive (musical instruments, reading books, stargazing, birdwatching, pedantic research, etc.) and unproductive (RPG games, miscellaneous gaming, reading comics, watching anime, etc.) ones. They are generally aspirational, (thinking about college since eighth grade, etc.) initially for their parents’ sake, but ten years later for their child’s, who eats from a spoon of sterling silver.
2. The Artists
The artsy types. Money makes the world go round, but arts keep our spirits sound. These people are deviants. They scoff at the curriculum for being too mainstream. They scoff at teachers for being Stalinists.
Half of them have a bleached sketch paper of an idea about their future, while the other half unrealistically aspire to be worshiped on a pedestal after their imminent success.
Hobbies are what they’re all about, and they’re unafraid to take their work to class. The amateurs showcase their talents and swoon in their classmates’ tasteless admiration. Others, the true masters of the craft, are insecure in their pursuit of perfection. Main hobbies of those under this category include musical talent, visual arts talent- and that’s really about it.
3. The Jo- I mean, Athlete
Born to be athletes, and definitely not simpletons. This ilk cannot cease to move, be it bottle football in the classroom, or the endless chatter about last night’s basketball game; they’re restless.
The school bell is quite unequivocal to them. It means either football, basketball, or some other sport people enjoy on school grounds. Quidditch, for instance.
I invented paperball back in high school, but that didn’t quite pick up with anyone. If you want to know more about paperball, leave a comment below, or send me an homing eagle.
4. The Peculiarly Talented
These children are talented, not because they can do something better than others, but because they can do something others cannot. Such things may include, but are not limited to: licking one’s own nose, doing magic tricks, walking a tightrope, acupuncture, etc.. Number four here should really be a sub-category.
5. The Real-Life Internet Kid
The kid with empty threats, who threatened to burn your house down, and his unfaltering stare has already done it. These students try to fit among various groups and rely on their threats to survive socially or to mask their insecurity. At times situations tempt them to perform a misdemeanour or two.
6. The Bully
True despots who feast on the mishap and misery of others. Gregarious, this specimen associates number with invincibility. Of course, being invincible also means you have to smoke and drink later in life, because natural laws dictate as such.
They are usually the most hated among these stereotypes, but all the while the most feared. Who needs to worry about their future, when those that do, fear you?
7. The Nutcase
The outcast, the rebel, the renegade. Or frankly speaking, just the average looney who skims the fine line between high school and mental hospitalisation. These, or we (as I associate with this stereotype), are often found performing quirky acts for no conscious reason. Roughly falling under this category are also the part-time workers who sleep in class and are disheartened about their future because they don’t realise that it’s just a side effect of sleep deprivation.
8. The Artists 0.4
For these students, fabulousless (this isn’t really a word) is key. Admiration from others, oh well, can alternatively happen in their little heads. The majority of these kids also have rich parents, as only then can they afford cosmetics and similar products, which seem to teem in their knapsacks like sardines after breeding season.
They promptly have their makeup bag at hand, convieniently disguised as a pencil case, wherein, ironically, lies no pencil or any other writing tool. Hence they would always burrow from their classmates. And never return them. (Hint: they have no respect for your plastic ink-dispensing contraption from which worlds and mathematical breakthroughs can emerge)
Children pampered by rich parents since childhood are frequently a hybrid of this and the ‘Bully’ category. These people can and will buy their way to unmerited privileges.
9. The Play Along
Although they don’t like the sound of the phrase, these people don’t give a hoot. Ambition and aspiration are incomprehensible words to their idle brains. Ardent followers of boy bands, Taylor Swift, cheesy animes, or some other sensationalist fad I don’t know about, these kids eventually become the brick and mortar of our present society. They have average grades in school, come from average families, and seek to get average degrees to live average lives.
Ah, the average Jane and Joe; the world is built around them though.
10. The Heir
These kids already have a future. Yes, rich parents, unless a tad maniacal, like I would be to my children if I were rich, will give you what you want, and leave you to it.
All’s well, until, of course, illness befalls your overworked father, and suddenly the fate of the family business rests upon your shoulders. And then, due to your inability to affiliate with other career choices because you smugly shrugged off every subject in school, you are rendered effectively without a choice to succeed a throne you never gave a rat’s behind about.
And that, concludes my list. Ten’s a popular internet number too. I could’ve also missed a good dozen or two. If you can name them, I eagerly and thankfully in advance invite you to.
Offended by something? Bash me in the comments, I’d quite like that.